I missed you today, Jodie Balka

I encountered the following poem's audio - by US author, Jodie Balka - on Dan Preston's YouTube Channel, in memoriam of his friend Nick who had recently passed away from cancer (Escape to Rural France, 2026. 8:25). The clip can be watched on TikTok here, or, if you don't have TikTok, watch the clip I have linked to below.

As my mum has just died today, at this time, I too found these words to be powerful, and I have included Jodie's text:

I missed you today, but no one knew. I didn't cry tears, and I didn't look blue. Nobody thought I seemed slightly askew. I walked all through the day, thinking all about you.

I missed you today and nobody could tell. I felt heavy and sad, but I covered it well. I laughed out loud at jokes. Didn't once undercell. Really got through the day and it hurt like hell.

I missed you today, but I did it so quiet. No one knew I was selling but made everyone buy it. Thought of you every second. Didn't try to deny it. It might have seemed small, but to me it felt giant.

I missed you today from the morning to night. From my dawn alarm clock till I closed both my eyes. You drove with me to work. Helped me turn out my lights. It looked like a breeze, but it felt like a fight.

I missed you today, and it made me wonder, if I feel like this, then there must be others. Making grief look like sunshine when it feels like thunder. How many I spoke to also being pulled under.

I missed you today and will every day, too. They'll discreetly miss theirs, and I'll softly miss you. We'll see all the colors of the black and white hue, and that is just something that grief will do.

Nice when someone expresses grief in a way that resonates.

Sam

References:

Balka, J. (n.d.). Make Your Day [just_a_small_town_fan]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/@just_a_small_town_fan/video/7640084274653170962

Escape to Rural France. (2026). Nick's Birthday [video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/jgbh7uTPqLI