News from Nelson - April 2017

Hi everyone,
I hope you are all well, and that the year is treating you kindly.

We have had a big month again. I was just getting back into my PhD work during the study break, and following my illness last month, when my father took a turn for the worse. He went into the hospice before Easter for few days, as he was getting very breathless. They thought they would simply stabilise him, and he would go home again.

However, once he was in, they felt that he really needed to stay until after Easter because they were worried how my Mother would cope on her own with him. Then on Easter Saturday, they called me in the evening, and said that he was quite bad, and that I should come in. Jan & I drove in to the hospice, saw him, then called the family, and everyone came in. My sister was just back from the US, and she and Bella hopped in Bella's car and drove up from Christchurch. Tessa caught a flight down from Auckland. We spent the next five days camping out at the hospice, taking turns to sit with him, talk and share memories as he slowly slipped away.

Kim flew up from Dunedin to Christchurch, and drove from there with Aunty Diana. Aunty Jill came to visit. Graeme and Julie came to see him a few times. We have had lots of laughs, reflections, and shared stories. The family has probably spoken more about our impressions of past events in the past week than we ever have in the past. Various spectres have been laid to rest.

He died on 19 April, and, as he had chosen to donate his body to Otago Medical School for student learning, we had no funeral. Instead we held a memorial service at Club Waimea. Over eighty people attended. I MCed, and Barney Thomas arrived – serendipitously – and I asked him if he would do a karakea: which he did. It was just perfect. Mother spoke about father not giving in to his illness. I spoke about his desire for us all to learn. Barb spoke about lessons from hockey. Mike spoke about father calling him at aged 25 to ask if he had been 'playing' with his screwdrivers in the garden. Tessa did the housekeeping about the donations to the Hospice and St Johns, then told stories about how she would play Nana and Poppa off against each other, and how her son Izzy loved his Poppa. Diana told a story about her 'stink' money – she got 2-/6 per week for cleaning his sleepout. Kim talked about my father as being like a father to her. Various people spoke about his community work, his hockey and bowls dedication, his fundraising, and his work at MAF… it was really lovely.

Then Bonnie got diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer on her hind leg. We are simply going to leave it until the tumour gets too large, or she gets ill.

Jan went in for the first of his two hip replacements, and the surgery went very well. But it was still worrying. He is recovering very quickly, and is already in much less pain than he was in before the surgery. 

However, it is turning out to be a bit of a shitty year, to say the least.

I did get a bit of a birthday celebration, at The Grape Escape:

And I did buy myself a pair of shoes. Fluevogs, naturally:

More next month. Hopefully next month's news is a lot better.

Sam (& Jan)